This isn’t something I’ve really thought about before, but I received a question about it, so I tried my best to organize my thoughts to answer it. I’ve broken it down into two sections:
1. How do I write a female character without hypersexualizing her?
2. And if I am doing so subconsciously, how do I identify what I’m doing to cause it and change it so it doesn’t?
I don’t think there is any big secret or a real sure-fire method that will make the outcome a normalized description and written fluidly immediately.
We can go with the whole “write a female character as you would a male character”, but I always felt that was kind of vague for most people, especially those starting out. What if I also get stuck on how to write male characters? Then where are we?
I would start by considering:
Who is describing the character? Who’s POV are we reading from?
The POV influences how the character would be described. We are looking at the character through another character’s gaze. That would change how a character is described and interpreted by the reader.
The same character can be described and seen differently by different characters. Example: Character A is described a certain way by their sibling, perhaps comparing physical features to themselves, their personality in relation to how they are treated by Character A throughout their lives, and will likely have some personal thoughts, as Character A is closely blood related.
Character A will be described differently by a potential love interest. Their physical features, actions, and speech will be interpreted in a romantic, and likely positive, light. They may not have known Character A too long, so their description of Character A’s personality can only be based on what they know so far. POV is very important and the consistency of it is something I always check for first when I’m asked to do a crit (critique of another’s writing sample for the purposes of helping them improve).
Now you’ve sort of set the “situation” for the character description. Aside from describing the character’s physical appearance, characters can also be described through action. When doing so, consider:
Is the action/description really necessary? - Does it provide information on the character (background, personality) or push the story forward (plot development)?
Does it add to the scene to give context?
Does it add to the scene to get a reaction?
Does it add to the story meaningfully?
I think this is more prevalent in novel writing, but it is something to consider so you don’t end up writing a whole backstory on any character the moment they enter the scene.
My Anecdote: During a writing class where I was reviewing another student’s work, I once read a full two paragraphs – big ones that nearly took up what would be a novel-sized page – which were dedicated to introducing a female lawyer. The character describing them was a male lawyer and it went from describing her features (height, eyes, hair color, etc) and how she presented herself (confidently, in a suit, determined – all of this good), to spiraling into a weird backstory of how she looked the type to have given farm boys some sort of wet dream.
I remember staring at it and then asking the retired gentlemen if those two paragraphs were really necessary. Was her growing up on a farm or something going to be relevant later in the story? If so, was this really the place to put it? Could it be placed later, in a more useful place? In a place AFTER the character is fleshed out more – this is their background, after all. If not, if this was all just a way to hypersexualize her immediately – was that what he wanted to do? (It was not.)
Basically, if it’s not relevant to the story/scene, to how the character acts or thinks about themselves, or makes them relatable without fetishizing them, is it necessary to write?
So, what would we write if you don’t want to hypersexualize them?
I’d recommending sticking to the following:
Physical Characteristics:
Height
General Size
Skin
Hair
Eyes
Resemblance to their bloodline (such as an elf would have elf-like features)
Keep their description general and basic - like a prison line up. Say they have blue eyes, and move on.
DO NOT linger on the sizes and presumed textures of body parts. Try to avoid singling out body parts that are usually sexualized, such as breasts, hips, and legs.
Otherwise, unless you are purposely sexualizing one character from the viewpoint of another to establish physical attraction OR those parts are somewhat important to use, just avoid drawing attention to specific parts of the body that tend to be sexualized.
